To Guard Against Divorce

As I continue reading through the Review and Herald I'm working on several things. Lately I have been doing a careful review to create an exhaustive list of early Seventh-day Adventist women in ministry (up to 1881). I started to read through the Review and Herald in conjunction with my study of the Testimonies for the Church. I'm now reading parts of volume 5 and I am tracking along in 1878 in the Review and Herald. I'm finding rich clues, some times confessions, that provide the historical context to early Adventist life and thought. I'm also developing a database of the life of James & Ellen G. White day by day for a biography that I plan to write.

Along the way I find various "gems"--little insights into Adventist life. This particular selection is from "Selected" so apparently Uriah Smith, or one of the associate editors, saw this as worthy of republishing in the flagship Seventh-day Adventist periodical. It provide a "window" into the early lives of Adventists, the home, and marriage. So, here it is:

To Guard Against Divorce

• Be a Christian, and marry a Christian.
• Never both be angry at once.
• Never taunt with a past mistake.
• "I forgot" is never an acceptable excuse.
• A good wife is the greatest earthly blessing.
• If you must criticise [sic], let it be done lovingly.
• They who marry for physical characteristics or external considerations, will fail of happiness.
• Never make a remark at the expense of the other.
• Never talk at each other, either alone or in company.
• Give your warmest sympathies for each other's trials.
• If one is angry, let the other part lips only for a kiss.
• Neglect the whole world beside rather than each other.
• Never speak loud to each other unless the house is on fire.
• Let each strive to yield oftenest to the wishes of the other.
• Always leave home with loving words, for they may be the last.
• Marry into different blood termperament from your own.
• Never deceive, for the heart once misled can never trust wholly again.
• It is the mother who molds the character and fixes the destiny of the child.
• Never find fault unless it is perfectly certain a fault has been committed.
• Do not herald the sacrifices you make to each other's tastes, habits, or preferences.
• Let all your mutual accomodations be spontaneous, whole-souled, and free as air.
• The very felicity is in the mutual cultivation of usefulness.
• Consult each other in all that comes within the experience, obesrvation, or sphere of the other.
• A hesitating or grum yielding to the wishes of the other always grates upon a loving heart.
• Never reflect on a past action which was done with a good motive, and with the best judgment at the time.
• The beautiful in heart is a million times of more avail as securing domestic happiness than the beautiful in person.